By Nat Butcher, our Political Correspondent

Last month Prime Minister David Cameron came to Edinburgh to sign an agreement which showed us the route to independence. Today, Ruth Davidson gave us all a ticket to the train that will take us there.

Dozens of 'Bitter The Gither' campaigners thronged Scottish stations at rush hour today, to give away free tickets to independence. These were eagerly snapped up by the commuters who could hardly believe their luck.

The tickets were, unfortunately, only standard class, but thanks to the precedent set by Ruthie's boss, Gideon Osbourne, they can be used for travel in any class you wish.

Most passengers will be too tipsy on the celebratory champagne to notice the amount of legroom they have. However, they are expected to enjoy the free sausage rolls provided by 'Wee Dugs Ltd., caterers to the Union', who will have no further use for them once the Union has gone.

A station announcer was heard to say: "Will all passengers wishing to travel to a brighter future please move to the front of the train. The rear carriages will be terminating in Westminster at 20:14. All aboard!"

The tickets on offer were all one way, but since nobody in the history of British Imperial Railways has ever asked to return from a brighter future, this is not viewed as a disadvantage.

BBC Scotlandshire caught up with Ruth Davidson after the batch of tickets had unexpectedly run out, and she had this to say:

"This seemed like a brilliant idea when we found that old spoof ticket from the 2007 election – you know, the one the SNP kids did for a laugh.

"To begin with we thought the stunt was going really well because everyone was desperate to get hold of a ticket, and some of them were even going round two or three times to collect more. But soon we realised they were laughing AT us, not WITH us. They all wanted to use the tickets for real.

"Now we're worried that we will get done for fraud, because we we had no intention of really putting on any trains. It looks like we might need to now, just to keep out of the jail.

Just wait 'till I get my hands on that Murdur Fraser – it was him who suggested the idea in the first place. I'll give him a kick-boxing he won't forget in a hurry."

Forgotten leader of the now defunct SLD party, oor Wullie Rennie, was in his element as he knows precisely how to handle a ticket. He has now been employed by the YES Scotland campaign in case the Freedom train is delayed and a bus is needed to replace it. He said:

"Look's like I've changed sides again, but I'm getting kinda used to that. But hey, whit can you do, eh? Tickets. have your tickets ready."

Ruthie's uncle, Ian Davidson MP, chairchoob of the Scottish Affairs committee for Independence Naysayers & Deniers and Young English Xenophobic Pricks, all Recounting the Evils of a Separate Scotland, was also in a belligerent mood. He told BBC Scotlandshire:

"Whit a f---ing stupid stunt that Ruthie is! The last thing ye shid dae is tae offer Scottish people a free ticket tae freedom. No if ye dinnae want them tae take it onywiy.

"These ur Scoattish scum, yer talkin aboot. They'll take anythin' aff ye if it's free. Who the f—k thought it wis a guid idea tae gie Glesga people a free ticket tae this future, an' then tell thum it wis jist a joke. Fur f—ks sake. Dae thur heids zip up the back?

"Ah think wan ay they Tory Bastirts his set wee Ruthie up. Check oot who's sittin' beind 'er at the next FMQ an' look at thur eyes. That 'll tell ye whae it wis."

Chief rammy merchant of SLAB Johann Lamont was unavailable for comment as she was clutching a free ticket and trying to find the right train.

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