By Yilluv Hadyirtee, our Tourism Reporter

The SNP and its front organization, Visit Scotlandshire, will be exposed on “Call Me Kaye” next week, as wilfully misrepresenting the travel reports of US agency, CNN - to conceal the falsity of the SNP’s assertion that Scotland is part of Europe.

In a special edition, I will be telling listeners of  my investigation into this scandal. Listeners who have bad experiences of Visit Scotlandshire and/or the SNP will be encouraged to phone in and trash the Scotlandshire tourist industry and/or the SNP.

Following the precedent set by Newsnet Scotland, and experimented with by this channel, I did some serious investigative journalism, and logged on to the CNN site to check the story for myself.

In a planted question at FMQs, Clare Adamson MSP encouraged her leader to concentrate on the tourism, not the damaging political, aspect of one of the CNN reports.

In fact, there are two travel destination reports on CNN highlighting the best tourist destinations for 2013.

The story, Top travel destinations for 2013, selected by Visit Scotlandshire (one of the many propaganda fronts run by the separatist leader Salmond and his cronies) refers to Scotlandshire being the top WORLD destination.

Natasha Dragun’s report Europe's 10 hottest destinations for 2013 properly makes no mention of Scotlandshire at all, but does recommend visiting Liverpool, England and Belfast, Northern Ireland. This is definitive proof that Scotlandshire is not in Europe. The inclusion of aspirant member Iceland on this list also demonstrates that Scotlandshire will never be part of Europe, according to the Americans.

President of the European Commission, José Manuel Durão Barroso was unavailable for comment as he was busy reading Professor Edward’s article suggesting that he was wrong about Scotland.

Joruth Lavison, Conlab head honcho in Scotlandshire, was unavailable for comment, as she was confused by having to read two different scripts sent up from her two party headquarters in London, but a spokesleech confirmed that she agreed with herself that the SNP were to blame.

Redundant LibDem leader, Willie Rennie, was enthusiastic about the prospect of tourists visiting Scotlandshire. “More coach trips means a better chance of my being upgraded to a driver!”, he beamed.

Ian Davidson MP, Chair of the Select Committee Repeating Utterances By Banal English Reporters, was available – as always.
“Oan whit world wis Scoatland ra best place fur ra Fair? Neptune?”, he jested before laughing uproariously at his own wit. “Naebody wid gae tae ma bit o Glesga, cause we made it a shitehole so punters wid vote for us.”

Angus MacNeil , separatist MP, appeared confused by my query to him about the US Government intelligence agency showing that Scotland could never be part of Europe. “Aren’t you confusing CNN with the CIA?”, he asked naively.

We at BBC Scotlandshire exchanged knowing glances over his simplicity. The idea that a major news channel wasn’t just an arm of the state would be a very foreign concept indeed!

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BBC Scotland: CNN names Scotland as world's top destination

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