U-KOK heads throbbed with rage yesterday after poor ticket sales ruined a British musical.

Viva Forever, the West End production based on songs of the Spice Girls, was forced to cut short its run and will end in June.

“We just can’t make it work,” said producer Judy Craymer. “We expected everyone to come and support this important musical, but those narrow-minded separatists just have to ruin everything, don’t they.”

Blair MacDougall, U-KOK head, said: “Ninja keyboard cybernat warrior turtles have swamped the online world with scathing reviews of this wonderful show simply because the Spice Girls are a British institution.

“They’ve gone from definitely spraying graffiti on the walls of The Hootsmon, to definitely heckling comedians, and now humiliating the best British music act in recent decades.

“Nats should share in the success of musicians like the Spice Girls while they still have the chance.”

Labour leader Ed Miliband said: “What I say is this: If you want to be One Nation, you’ve got to get with my friends. Make it last forever - friendship never ends.

“If you want to be One Nation, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.”