In a dramatic new development, what passes for Wullie Rennie's soul has just re-entered what passes for his body.

In an exclusive interview with BBC Scotlandshire, Wullie Rennie explained what happened. "Over millenia, lots of great leaders have arrived in Hell, and tried to knock Beelzebub off his perch. None had succeeded till now.

"Just my luck to get there after McClumpherty. When Satan heard the eulogies for the auld bitch at the funeral, he pleaded with Jehovah to be allowed tae get the hell oot o' Hell afore she arrived. In his infinite mercy, God allowed Auld Nick to resign and take a seat in the House of Lords, with all the other retired fiends.

"As a Lib-Dem I had my legs crossed as to what the new Great Satan would decide. When she pronounced that there would be nae Wets in Hell, I pissed masel, and got slung oot. Bit whit kin ye dae, Eh?"

Presiding Officer Tricia Marwick said her clerks were searching for precedents as to how this remarkable situation should be dealt with. "Brain dead MSPs are commonplace, though preferably not Party leaders, but  Labour have insisted on their right to select such as Leader."