We have been asked several times why we have not covered yesterday's sad death, so we will now correct that omission.

Auchenshoogle pensioner, Mrs Philomena McClumpherty died quietly in her bed yesterday, aged 96. Friends and relatives paid tribute to the "wonderful, kindly old lady."

Neighbour, Miss Netta McLafferty disagreed. "Ah'm glad the auld bitch is deid", she said. "She pinched ma fella in 1935, pentit hoor that she wis."

BBC Scotlandshire extends its sympathies to Mrs McClumpherty's family, but remains puzzled as to why anyone else would be interested in her demise.