Blow for U-KOK as Queen wades into the debate

By Neil Low, Our Royal Correspondent

queenAt Crathie Kirk, Her Majesty spoke to an English visitor who was wishing her well, and delivered the following scripted message, in front of the invited Press audience.

"You have an important vote on Thursday. I hope everybody thinks very carefully about the referendum this week".

A delighted Yes campaign responded officially "Her Majesty is echoing the message from Yes Scotland to all voters - to think very carefully about this one opportunity that Scotland will have on Thursday to choose our future. Of course, Buckingham Palace has been at pains to stress that the Queen has no position on the independence referendum."

Unofficially he said, "Ya wee dancer! Get stuck intae thae Nay-sayers, Lizzie! The bastirts have spent the last two years trying to stop folk thinking about the issues with their fear mongering.

"The Queen has probably just saved the monarchy in Scotland. Clever wumman!"

Meanwhile official No campaigners were apoplectic with rage.

UKIP leader Niggle Fartage had called on the Queen to intervene in the Scottish independence referendum. PM David Cameron had been under growing pressure, from backwood MPs in his Tory and Labour pareties,to ask the Queen to speak out in support of the Union.

A spokestwat for the NoBloodyThanks! campaign said, "This is a bloody disgrace! The Queen is supposed to be politically neutral, which means encouraging blind acceptance of the status quo. How the hell are we supposed to govern this country, if people think for themselves? It's the BBC's job to tell people what they should be thinking!"

lolA spokessash for the Orange Order shouted, "We've said that we'll leave Scotlandshire, if they split from Queen and Country. Now, the bloody Queen is encouraging people to think for themselves, and split the Country. It's as if the daft auld biddy thinks she can be Queen of lots of different countries at the same time!

"We'll need to reconsider our position, and think about leaving the planet!"

In a remarkable demonstration of group thought, the same joke occurred simultaneously iin the minds of the entire press corps.


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