New occult group supports the Union

By Weecann Seayou, Our Tiny Sects Correspondent

The NO GhostsRotters news agency reports stunning news as, new to the fray group, "Psychics Say No Bloody Thanks!" reveal the astonishing array of the departed who are in support of the Union.

Doris Jack, the leader of the group says: "The ether has just been alive with spirits coming through to show their contempt for separation."

Doris added: "To date, 200 major figures have signed up. Those voicing their support for Scotlandshire voting No Bloody Thanks! include such luminaries as Alexander the Great, Queen Cleopatra, Geronimo, Gandhi, Elvis Presley and, from the auld alliance, none less than Cardinal Richelieu of France himself!!

"Perhaps the most gratifying of all has been the Bruce himself who came through to me just last night and tearfully proclaimed that had he understood that more powers for Scotlandshire would be on offer in the event of a No Bloody Thanks! vote in 2014, on the very eve of Bannockburn itself, he would have disbanded his army and gone home - secure in the knowledge that all would be well."

"Well this just proves our point", commented the spirit of Wee Willie Rennie, deceased and degraded leader of the Scottish Demolished Liberal Party, "in whatever dimension you look, the No Bloody Thanks! campaign is winning the argument".

George Deary of Better Together - Nearly never condescendingSpeaking on Dateline Scotlandshire, George Deary of Better Together confirmed the No Bloody Thanks! campaign was winning the debate.

Mr Deary claimed: "I'll try to say this without sounding CONDESCENDING. The NAW argument is winning in this world and the next - THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! Another great day for THE BETTER TOGETHER."

Rotters commented that "whilst this is certainly an unusual addition to the ranks of the forces of Empire, we have to conclude this is broadly no more or less credible than a good deal of the No Bloody Thanks! campaign content to date and indeed, one could argue that the majority of names on this list have no more or less connection to Scotlandshire than many already seen in the ranks of that campaign, and to be honest, at least we've heard of these ones without having to Google them."

Readers will remember just how accurate psychic forces are in allowing us to know the future in advance.

In January, Psychic World's John Sutton told us that there:

"will be a decisive but divisive vote in favour of maintaining membership of the UK. This will not be well accepted in certain quarters resulting in disharmony amongst sections of the community."

This followed this summer's riots that we all remember so well when inter-racial tensions and benefit cuts reduced our major citiies to chaos. As John said:

"The response from some will be to rampage and riot resulting in the utilisation of the Armed Forces to restore and maintain order. As I look at this I ‘see’ a scene reminiscent of 1970’s Belfast at the height of ‘The Troubles’."

A spookssheet for Yes Scotlandshire said they had launched their own "Psychics for Yes" group many months ago but needed to await the correct astrological alignment and a nice sunny day before going public.


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