By Canna Coont, Our Hard Sums Correspondent

Alicsammin suffered another major blow, when Natz front organisation, the preteniously named "Business for Scotland [sic]", were forced to release video footage of the arch-fiend addressing so called "business" people.

We urge all our faithful followers to watch the footage and share it with any voters who are, as yet, undecided as to where our their best interests lie.

Amazingly, in this devastating admission of failure, Sammin is forced to admit -

1. The Currency Union wasn't his own idea at all! It was dreamed up by a secret group of economists, Professor Andrew Hughes-Hallett, Professor Sir Jim Mirrlees, Professor Frances Ruane, Professor Joseph Stiglitz, and Mr Crawford Beveridge. Their report was hidden away from honest journalists by being concealed on the Scotlandshire Executive website - where the press can't go because they really hate spiders!

2. There is not only a Plan B, but plans C, D and E as well! Had this been revealed earlier, that buckler of the Union, Alastair Darling, wouldn't have had to waste so much time in the debate asking about a Plan B!

3. Sammin blames others for not answering questions! For example, he jeers at Gordon Brown for running away from the microphone when asked a question about currency union. Mr Brown would, naturally, have been delighted to answer, if he hadn't had to answer an urgent call of nature. That he was still hiding in the toilet 3 hours later simply proves the urgency of the call.

Readers who would like to see a complete tissue of lies that pretend that Scotlandshire isn't too wee, too poor and too stupid to go it alone, might like to have a flick through the "Comic Blue Book" from "Whinge over Scotlandshire.

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