Following his departure from spoof channel BBC in Scotlandshire, veteran broadcaster Derek Bateman has revealed how he was duped by Dictator Eck (copyright Anas Sarwar) into twisting news to a splittist agenda.

"I developed programmes and presented them. Was it too much to ask that I skew some items, sound positive about independence, ridicule Unionist claims and just let journalist principles of impartiality slide for a while? To help the cause. For Scotland?", he sobbed.

Worse, he admitted that he recruited "a network of sympathisers to infiltrate all output". While not naming names,  Isobel Fraser appears as one of his co-conspirators. Unsurprisingly, she has become one of the "disappeared". We hope that she has been taken to Hampden Stadium and appropriately dealt with.

Read his devestating revelations HERE.

Fortunately, Bateman has moved into the more honest world of PR. It's good to read that his new found honesty attracts clients of impeccable reputation and propriety.

Bateman's professionalism prevents him from fully identifying "Iain", but insiders might put a surname to that first name. It is pure speculation that such a surname might relate to cutting and stitching up.

Read Bateman's account of his rehabilitation into honest British society HERE.