Coalition leaders today warmly welcomed the Jimmy Reid foundation report into what a separate Scotlandshire could look like. Speaking on BBC politics, David Cameron said, “The Common Weal sounds like a fantastic idea for Scotlandshire.

It’s not something I’ve heard of before. In fact I have never heard of the Jimmy Reid Foundation either, but presume they are a think tank minded towards the same kind of policy we in the Tory party and our friends in UKIP would wish to follow.”

Questioned about support from the Tory leader, Robin McAlpine of the Reid foundation expressed surprise, but welcomed the positive comments, saying “everyone is welcome to join in the debate on what a future Scotland might look like, though I do wonder if Cameron has actually read the report?”

UKIP spokesman for Scotlandshire Sir Numpty McThackery admitted he hadn’t read the report but said, “I have nevertheless discussed it with friends in the Tory party who have discussed it with Cameron and we are all in agreement that a Scotlandshire where commoners are flayed and whipped sounds like the kind of Scotlandshire, and indeed UK, we could support. That is what the common weal means I presume. Isn’t it?”