Alex Salmond has been accused of warping the minds of the young after popular boyband JLS announced they were splitting up.

The band, who broke records and won several awards during their time together, will take part in a farewell tour before going their separate ways.

Alistair Darling, U-KOK head, said: “These boys have walked into a straightjacket with this move. Everybody was happy with the status quo, including millions of vulnerable youngsters who relied heavily on the output of the band.

“They’ll say they can flourish on their own, but there is simply no evidence for this. Remember, there is no way back after separation.

“Going it alone, but still remaining in the music business, is not freedom. What’s the point?

“What you’ll have, as you see with all boybands who try to go it alone, is a situation where eventually they’ll drift back towards each other and inevitably find themselves back in union.

“So I’m entirely consistent on this.”

A spokesperson for the Scotlandshire separatists said: “After 2014 we look forward to controlling our fair share of JLS and their assets, namely whichever of them has the fittest burd.”