Scottish Parliament leaders were overjoyed when mediums reported that the ghost of Wullie Rennie had finally been laid to rest.

"Not only is he at peace, but he'll now gie the rest o' us peace", said Presiding Officer Tricia Marwick. It's been a long and difficult day and the need to consume all of the 70 proof holy watter tested even the strongest constitution. We were all grateful that Lord Ffoulkes was no longer an MSP, or there would have been bugger all for anyone else.

"In this unseasonally cold weather, we are all glad that Wullie is in a much warmer home now."

BBC Scotlandshire has an extensive team of hellish journalists, and we were on hand to welcome Wullie to the Underworld and get an instant response to his new state of unreality.

"I'm incandescent" a delighted Wullie told our reporter.