By Sorry Site, Our Modern Technology Correspondent

The spoof channel appears to have broken the unwritten rule among broadcasters that online news and opinion sources must never be mentioned. Tonight BBC Scotlandshire strikes back at this naked breach of protocol.

Prior to his, thoroughly deserved sacking, the execrable Derek Bateman, started the rot by quoting pro-splittist websites on his dreadful Saturday morning show "Newsweek Scotland" - note the similarity to other foul splittist outlets?

Chairchoob Ian Davidson, of the Commons Select Committee of United Kingdom Imperial Parliamentarians Buying Noble Peerages, wisely described the spoof channel's evening current affairs programme as "Newsnat Scotland" [sic] and, as it comes to its final end, it too has focused on these disreputable sites such as "Bella Caledonia" and "Wings" (silly names).

However, the internet, we have discovered, has numerous sites promoting the glories of the Union, and we now bring you some of the greatest, most illuminating, exciting, up to date and relevant sources of non-MSM information to help our loyal readers to go out into the ether and fight for the Empire!

Pride of place has to go to Labour Hame. Seizing the Natz own language, their Facebook page describes itself as "Scottish Labour for Scotland". A high risk strategy you might think to abandon the old slogan of "Scottish Labour for Westminster", as perhaps it might be. Even bolder has been their decision to challenge the declining No lead since November 2013, by adopting a position of TOTAL SILENCE.

Site supremo, Tom Harris MP, apparently met one of his old teachers from Beith Primary School, who reminded Tom of what he had been told in P2 - "Now, Tom. If you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all", a maxim he now seems to have taken to heart.

As a YouGov poll shows that 60% of splittists think that "the way Britain has developed it is no longer a country I want Scotlandshire to be part of", Thimble Collectors International (TCI) has bravely swung into action to repair the ragged edges of the Union Flag.

Scottish Chairlady of the TCI, Kezia Dugdale said, "I was distressed to find such huge holes torn in the fabric, so I gathered a few other Petit Points around me, in a lovely location near Arthur's Seat, where we spend all day making petty points, to avoid ever facing the time when we would be forced to take responsibility for things.

"Without our trusty thimbles, we would constantly be assailed by pricks, mainly from our own party. Iain Gray is a case in point", she giggled sweetly. "The poor dear does his best, but his Gros Points are pretty gross."

There is another site called Twitter.

It seems to be very big, but we were directed to a special section run by a robot. We were surprised to find that James Kelly MSP had such skills, but we advise our readers to have a look at an intellectual section called BritNatAbuseBot. We were amazed to see the splittist's arguments so well analysed, and in so few characters. Indeed some of the "words" that the contributors make from these characters are wholly unknown to us. That's why we know they must be very clever people making these posts. [Ed : Don't EVER quote any of their stuff on here. Our viewers are far too sensitive/thick to understand the language - and I've got a fu*king Broadcasting Code to pretend to adhere to!]

In an exciting new development, BBC London has spent simply HOURS! promoting a new grassroots campaign (we understand they don't have much grass in London) called VOTE NOB ORDERS. I'm told that it is very important that as many people as possible link to their site, so just type in the name, in lowercase letters followed by .com, into a search engine or, for those without any engine, just click here www.votenoborders.com

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