Cyber-bullies strike again as Darling banned from Twitter

By Nat Hunter, Chief Political Correspondent (@ScotshireLive)

darling-walliamsThe Better Together campaign cried foul last night after it emerged Alistair Darling had been suspended from the internet.

U-KOK head Darling, who as Chancellor saved real Scots from the bad banky people, was Tweeting regularly under the username @A_DarlingMP.

But BBC Scotlandshire can reveal that after routine checks, it was discovered he hasn't interacted on the site since February 24.

We alerted the face of Better Together, Bliar McDougall, who said: "Huh? Oh. I never noticed."

After the news sank in, U-KOK face McDougall raged with rage. "Scotlandshire is facing a massive ethical crisis over this. Not only do we not know what currency we'd use after a Yes vote, we have no clue about pensions, defence, international dialling codes, and now we don't know if pro-union personalities are safe to use the internet.

"Twitter in particular is an incredibly useful tool. You can tweet jokes, stories, facts, pictures etc. I, personally, use it to consistently post figures and quotes doing Scotlandshire down.

"God, I love Scotlandshire."

The separation campaign has been widely discussed on Twitter. Both the Yes and No camps have official accounts, with the Yes side criticised for using words such as 'hope', 'inspire' and 'transform'. The No side, conversely, have attracted praise for more realistic use of words such as 'uncertainty', 'risk' and 'vile abuse'.

The World's Only Polling Expert, Prof John Poultice, said: "The lack of a big voice such as Alistair Darling from the social media debate is a blow to the status quo camp. The @A_DarlingMP account received a hefty share of re-tweets and followers, spreading his message far and wide.

"It could also be seen as a good thing for the splittists. Not only because Darling is not around to tweet about what he's doing, but because it means a huge drop in the amount of vile abuse he was receiving.

"The Darling account was bombarded with angry keyboard warriors who simply couldn't understand his arguments. Some swore, some laughed, and some picked on his appearance, but most simply dismissed him as a parody of himself. Being accused of running a spoof account when you're not is one of the worst things that can happen to a person on the internet.

"He's probably glad of the break, to be honest."

Social media expert Rio Ferdinand said: "It's not surprising that few noticed Darling's disappearance until two weeks after the fact. The truth is anybody could stop using the internet and few would notice - there's too much noise. Unfortunately, it's usually the people we beg to go away that get a kick out of making the most noise.

"People tell me to piss off all the time."

When quizzed, the SNP denied being involved in the Darling ban.

chipsEast Kilbride MSP Linda Fandabidozy said: "Alistair Darling boosted the Yes campaign daily with his ridiculous tweets about not being allowed to share in the success of The Ting Tings or the threat of losing out on chips after a Yes vote.

"We're disappointed this fantastic avenue to gain more Yes votes is currently closed off and we will actively campaign for his reinstatement."

Aberdeen Donside MSP Mark McDonald said: "Labour are undemocratically trying to ban Holyrood ministers from an entire city. This is real life. I don't care if Darling is suspended from cyberspace – but what I will say is that there should be many others in line for the chop first.

"I'm looking at you, Wullie Young."

Better Together's head of Public Relations & Internal Campaign Knowledge (PRICK) Bobby Longhoose told BBC Scotlandshire that Mr Darling was unavailable for comment, as he was in the field with activists campaigning for a strong Scotlandshire parliament in the blah blah blah.

However his assistant, Ann Insider, confirmed to us that a) they have no activists and b) Darling had reverted back into his no-risk, no-uncertainty cardboard box. Mr Darling is reportedly alarmed at the amount of gaffer tape he is having to apply daily in order to keep the box together.

Leader of the Nu-Socialists in Scotlandshire Johann Lamont was – yes, you guessed it - doing anything but her job.


Related Items

Nat Hunter on Twitter: @ScotshireLive

Linda Fabiani on Twitter: @LindaFabianiSNP

Mark McDonald on Twitter: @MarkMcDSNP

Willie Young on Twitter: @youngwd1

Prof John Poultice on Twitter: @WhatScotsThink


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