The News it is a-changin

By Sarah 'Johnsdottir' Smith, Our New Hiring from Channel 4 1/2

toilet signsI bring exciting news from London, back home to Scotlandshire. It's been difficult trying to follow the referendum thing down here, as few people are much interested. Still, when I get back, I know that I'll be joining a fearless news organisation that reports the facts without fear, favour or bias.

Anyway, the big news down here is that Westminster politicians (and more importantly, Whitehall civil servants) are becoming increasingly convinced that they are losing the referendum campaign. As one told me today "Frankly, we're pissing ourselves - but for God's sake don't tell the Scotch!"

Many junior civil servants are complaining of the huge workload imposed on them by panicky Ministers and "Sir Humphrey's", who have suddenly woken up to the polls that suggest a Yes vote is currently attracting over 40% of decided voters - and rising. Off the record, staff in the Treasury told me, "We've seen the numbers and are trying to wangle a move to Edinburgh."

half looA memo circulating among them parodies the inevitable need to split assets between an independent "Scotland" and rUK. It reflects the growing awareness that sharing some assets actually makes sense, if the Scots don't want to have London in charge of everything.

In London, there's a paper called the Financial Times. I don't think it circulates much in Scotlandshire, and I've certainly never seen it quoted on any Scottish News programmes, when I've been back home. It's printing some interesting stuff about Scotlandshire, that seems to be changing some minds in the corporate sector.

They have also been highlighting that the MoD has been panicked into pushing their client firms to claim that they would all go bust if the UK was split. If this was America, we would have interviewers from the local equivalent of Fox News, ignoring that aspect of the story and leading with some line like "Defence jobs threatened", even though their website had to be somewhere near the truth. Just as well we have the BBC!

On a personal level, I'm delighted that I'll be joined by  political correspondent, Lucy Adams, Laura Bicker, as a referendum correspondent, and Colleta Smith, economics correspondent. 

I can assure readers that, unlike Gordon Brewer, I won't be getting into a sweaty passionate state when I interview Nicola Sturgeon!

A female dominated team should improve reporting considerably, and to the Chairchoob sends a simple message - "Get it up ye! Ye misogynist wee bastirt!"

[Ed - Who hired this bitch? Get her sorted before she starts broadcasting in May!]

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