By Will Dansfur-Silver, our Camanachd Correspondent

A new political pundit has joined the debate over the referendum for a separate Scotlandshire, and he's no sucker.

He's a big-brained Cephalopod Psephologist who began by predicting shinty matches, and has now turned his hands to foretelling the result of the referendum.

For the past few years, Ally the Octopus has lived quietly in a tank which sits on the bar of the Braveheart Arms in Broughtyferry. Then last year, he started to predict the results of each of the local shinty club's fixtures, with 100% accuracy!

Patrons of the pub, a well known SNP haunt, would drop both a chip and a piece of fried haddock into Ally's tank, then watch to see which he picked up first, while calling "Come on Ally!" and "Yo Sushi!". When Ally went for the fish, this predicted a win, while the chip meant a loss. When he didn't fancy a fish supper at all, this meant a draw.

Then, last week, someone came up with the brilliant idea of having Ally predict the outcome of the separation vote.

Ned McNutter, a regular of the bar, takes up the story, "There wus a bit ay a heated discussion in the pub, like, but we decidit oan a bit ay dough on wan side ay the tank, and a bit ay doughnut on the uther. Do or do not. Easy eh?

"We aw watched Ally movin' roond his tank until, aw of a sudden like, he went fur the doad ay doughnut and eat it up in a wanner. We wurnae too chuffed at that, ah can tell ye.

"That turned oot tae be Ally's last supper, but hey, that's the price you pay fur remorseless negativity."

Other regulars  voiced the opinion that "maybe Ally was just awfy greedy for doughnuts". We will never know for sure.

UKOK chairman and head of Project Fearty, Blare McDugall, welcomed Ally's prediction, saying, "Nobody can ignore a prediction NO win when it comes from such a respected source as Ally. He was a brave octopus and a valued colleague, he will be missed by me and by all of Scotlandshire's other fearties.

"i know what I'm talking about, too. I was given a similar slicing and dicing by other Blair on STV last night. And he wis smiling all the time and aw."

Johann Lamont was, as always, unavailable for comment.

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