Gove - A secret Scotch Separatist

By Keyp Lundun RoolOur Devolution Correspondent

gove2

Michael Gove shocked Westminster by gleefully espousing that new powers are devolved to the English regions of Wales and Ireland to set their own exams.

Get your brain in gear Michael!

Giving these bumpkins in the regions the ability to control their own stupidity levels will lead to a massive and uncontrolled glut of village idiots prancing through the nation waving their useless qualifications in the faces of Oxbridge educated Brits and demanding jobs in the prosperous South East and London.

This correspondent is dumbfounded by the deeply unwise move to separate the education of more English regions from central control.

We need look no further than the horrendous effects engendered in Scotlandshire. The Jocks, in no small part due to an independent system of education, now believe they can run their own region without oversight from Westminster.

These corrosive moves will lead to nothing but confusion. For instance, what if one of the regions was to create an Eton exam? It would not be beyond the bounds of possibility that one of these putrid peripheral people could gain a leadership position in Greater England, undermining hundreds of years of supremacy and control.

This is the tip of an extremely chilly iceberg, what next? Free education for the masses? The great unwashed clogging up the dreaming spires? The punts of the Cam and Ox overrun with ordinary, well, punters?

Allegedly Mr Gove was born in Scotlandshire, brought up by Scottish parents and indeed educated in the region, underlining the point made above. We have to ask, do his constituents realise they have a rabid separatist Jock at the helm and does David Cameron understand the massive risk involved in allowing Michael ‘Jock’ Gove free rein in schools of our great nation? We say, no more separatist scum if they don’t do it the English way. They should leave school at 13, probably best for the likes of them anyway and it would no doubt help overcome the dearth of English-speaking servants in the South East.

gove diarySuffice to say, we have grave doubts about Mr Gove’s unswerving, knee bending, arse licking, loyalty, especially having received from a source (we never reveal sources, it was Robin Binns), a page from Mr Goves diary, reproduced here.

A Conservative Councillor Stuart ‘Jock’ McLeod from Michael ‘Jock’ Gove’s Surrey constituency lent his conditional support to Mr Gove.

“Michael supported me through the hard times - the elocution lessons, withdrawal from square sausage and he taught me how to fool the locals into thinking I understood cricket.

"Why can’t you hit the guy with your bat when he is throwing those bloody hard red balls at you? To this day I still can’t understand the reasoning. Of course if it turns out Gove’s a secret separatist bastird  - and, judging by the diary page you have shown me, he is - well, he can pick his ain windae, cause he’ll be leavin’”

Devolution expert Alan Trench and adviser to the Tories in Scotlandshire (what do you mean, you've never heard of him?) has lashed out against Gove's plans.

Trench has attached himself to any group who wisely want to continue the survival of the UK, with various schemes to persuade the inferior peoples to continue to submit to London rule by receiving some minimal extra duties.

He sneered at Gove's idea saying, "English independence on GCSEs will make it harder for people to move around UK. Is that worth the benefit of 'more rigorous' exams?"

As an academic expert, he realises that the separate Scottish system of exams means that no one from Scotlandshire dare cross the border into other parts of the UK, and no sensible Brit moves to Scotlandshire.

"Fortunately for Gove", he said, "no one at Westminster sees regional news, so they won't have seen the responses from the provinces. He may have avoided sacking for now, but his stirring up of separatism within all parts of the UK will lead to his eventual 'Decline and Fall', which seems appropriate given his wish to return English schools to a 19th century model."


Related Articles

Guardian : Michael Gove suggests Wales and Northern Ireland split off school exams

BBC Welshshire : Wales-Northern Ireland talks on joint exam standards

BBC Northern Irelandshire : Michael Gove proposes split in exams systems of England, Wales and Northern Ireland 


Comments

Due to the huge number of complaints, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages.

Comments or no comments, it's still OUR job to tell YOU what to think - NOT the other way around.







 
Our Other Biased Articles

complaint

What is all this Rubbish?

Click HERE to find out.