By Fibs Arus, Our Copyright Correspondent

© Better Together have announced a series of community based "Bring & Burn" sales to eliminate all the embarassing errors that have been made. This especially includes surviving copies of "Top 10 Unionist Myths - DEBUNKED" still available on the internet, which patriotic Brits are encouraged to copy without viewing, then take along to your local witch-burning centre where it will be ritually destroyed.

UKOK head Alastair Darling said, "It's difficult to be sure exactly which of our scare warning stories may have contained inaccuracies, or the occasional terminological inexactitude, or some economy with truth, reality, or sanity. Brits are, therefore, asked to take anything we have ever written or said or infographicised, or recorded or filmed, or photographed, or published, for immediate disposal by our authorised teams of arsonists.

"Please ensure that any 'ordinary people' that we paid to make statements on our behalf are actually deceased before delivery. Sausage rolls and wee dugs should be appropriately packaged to avoid offending the sensitivities of animal lovers."

Bring & Burn sales will also accept anything to do with confidence building, freethinking, media tricks and tactics, independence, Scotlandshire, Orwell etc. Any history, geography or travel books about countries that are independent will be welcomed. Naturally any texts on oil, economics, politics, finance, socialism, radicalism, myths and fiction should be submitted for ritual incineration. Waterstones in Scotlandshire said, "Originally, we understood that we would still be allowed to retail books on make-up, but have now been informed that make-up has also been copyrighted by the No campaign. We will continue to sell blank notebooks containing the positive case for the Union."

Moles within the separatist camp are actively ensuring that sufficient copies of the offensive video are available. The fools in the Yes campaign seem unaware that the more copies that are brought to our Bring & Burn sales will raise more cash for UKOK than even a lottery winner could dream of.

One such, a Mr Packs, the resident separatist ranting shock jock of Radio Free Scotland, told BBC Scotlandshire: "Nationalist propagandistas Radio Free Scotland responded to the situation by having the gall to offer free hosting to any such video and have hosted this video already. Get it up yez!"

It is believed the personnel of this lunatic radio show are a bunch of tartan kilt wearing, shortbread eating, whisky for mouthwash raving Natz, who're obsessed with Braveheart, Mel Gibson and the past misdeeds perpetrated on the people of Scotlandshire.

We recommend you don't check them out ever on Tuesday evenings between 9 and 11pm at radiofreescotland.com. One for the good UKOK public to avoid at all costs. However, as we understand this digital thingie, the more people who view their vicious republishing of  "Top 10 Unionist Myths - DEBUNKED", the more rapidly their pixel store will be depleted, and no one will ever be able to see it again.

RFS allegedly has a photo of Wee Eck the Dictator on the wall to which they regularly prostrate. English Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was quick to offer support. "We understand that Scotlandshire has no health provision, but in the interests of international co-operation we are offering operations for an enlarged prostrate in NHS England for a significant fee."

It had to be delicately pointed out to him that "Prostrate" is lying flat - a UKOK condition. "Prostate" is just a cock condition, but particularly common in UKOK.

Ian Davidson, Chairchoob of the Scottish Select Committee Emitting No Scottish Objections Regarding Seeing Hellish Imperialist Pish, said "Look ya eejit! Joe pubic cannae haundle the truth! This is a pubic health issue - thon Separatist Nutter Pandemic ‘ll only get worse if this gets oot! Cannae huv the public goin mental!"

We had hoped to carry coverage of the UK Budget cuts today, but have been informed by G Brown and A Darling that all Tory Budgets fall within their copyright and may not be reported.

Copyright Warning

Reproduction of this document by any method - sexual, asexual, binary fission, budding, allogamy, autogamy or any variant thereof is expressly forbidden - even for those forms of reproduction that don't include anyone expressing anything. BBC Scotlandshire recommends the Labour method of preventing labour by total abstinence from anything at all, especially voting on any issue in any Parliament.

Related Articles

Wings Over Scotland : The sounds of silencing

National Collective : Top 10 Unionist Myths — Debunked — Banned — Re-Debunked

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