Glaswegians too "sick and thick" to have aspirations

By Quentin Letsno, Our Social Incompetent Correspondent


anas sarwarHereditary politician, privately educated millionaire's son and Deputy newly revealed (by the Daily Record) Leader of the Labour wing of the Tories in Scotlandshire, Aniseed Sarwar, has turned up the heat on the SNP to Gas Mark 11 - hotter than a Gregg's sausage roll oven.


He accused the SNP of having the wrong priorities for Scotlandshire. "As soon as you accept that Scotland was extinguished in 1707, and priorities are properly set in London, you have to accept that London projects and Trident are the really important priorities", said Sarwar.

He continued, "Scotlandshire just has to accept that successive London Governments have made the UK a very unequal place, and should be proud of the role that its MPs have played in that glorious attainment. Make no mistake, if Scotlandshire separates, then the resources available to the Scotlandshire Government would allow it to maintain universalism, and reduce inequalities in society. That would be disastrous for Unionist ambitions for our core constituency in the South East of England.

"The SNP is practicing cheap, dirty politics by applying the policies of universalism that Labour rightly threw in the dustbin when we (the rich and privileged) captured their party and turned it into an agent of conservatism.

"Universalism is designed to make all of society cohesive, to have a common aim of social equality in which every member is valued.

"This is anathema to a first past the post country where Tory and Labour depend on a divided electorate of rich and poor that each can take for granted in certain areas.. Just imagine the workload if MPs actually had to work for their constituency!

"UK Labour loathes that Nordic concept, and wholly believe that the state should primarily benefit the middle class.

"Instead of free prescriptions, education and that kind of nonsense, available public expenditure should always go on creating an extensive and unproductive bureaucracy, staffed by the middle class voters in places like East Renfrewshire. How else do we still get Tories voting for Jim Murphy? A divided society is a Unionist society. The ConLab strategy of selling council houses, for example, was wholly designed to create ghettoes of deepest poverty, thus ensuring that they would have no role models to allow them to develop aspirations to get out of dependency.

"Dependency creates huge economic opportunities at both the micro- and macro-economic levels. Locally, developing estates where people are so ground down by poverty that they are trapped into an endless of cycle of poorer health, poorer education outcomes, reduced social opportunities, higher rates of alcoholism, addiction and mental illness creates much better employment opportunities for middle class people to make decisions for them, persuade them that they are worthless and do all that on good travel expenses. At the national level, it creates massive employment opportunities in London to do the same for all the provincial areas.

"That this simultaneously means that they don't aspire to pollute Higher Education with their presence is an added benefit. We wholly deplore the actions of the separatist Executive in pressing Universities to admit a higher proportion of those from deprived backgrounds, on the basis of potential, rather than attainment. That's why I chose to highlight the proportion of those getting five A band Highers - a figure that is wholly irrelevant for entry to almost all University courses. The poor need to be kept believing that they are too thick to do better.

"I need hardly add that the low life expectancy in these areas of concentrated poverty allows much higher levels of pension to be available to those of us wealthy souls who will live long and prosper in the nice areas of the South East."

milliband carAsked whether Labour was wholly contradicting the policies of its former leader in the Scotlandshire Executive under Henry McLeish, Sarwar responded, "Under our new alliance with the Tories, we recognise that giving these powers to the Scotlandshire County Council was a mistake. London told Provost McLeish at the time that these policies were unaffordable, and London will make sure that is the case.

"Now that Labour in Scotlandshire is firmly back under the control of Whitehall, the independent Midwinter Cuts Commission will come up with proposals that entirely match London's priorities. The Natz can't match that!

"We need Scots dependency and individual independence. When my Dad bought me his old seat in Westminster, I didn't moan about needing to relocate or worry about finding somewhere to live with the correct number of bedrooms - I jumped in my modest Rolls-Royce to pop down to London and I've never looked back since - just as Ed Milliband has done, though his journey was much shorter. That's the kind of enterprise we value in the Labour party, the kind that says 'just get on your Jet/Rolls/Harley-Davidson and look for work'."

A person said that Sarwar's nominal "leader", Johann Lamont, had gratefully accepted an instruction from him to table an amendment to Margo McDonald's Assisted Dying Bill to require that the poor should continue to be assisted to an early death by UK social policy.

Ruth Davidson was reported to be making a major statement on the same day as Sarwar but, presuming that they were using the same script, we couldn't be arsed to cover it.


Related Articles

Daily Record : Scottish Labour turn up heat on SNP as deputy leader Anas Sarwar slams priorities for free university places over poverty

Daily Record : SCOTTISH LABOUR LEADER, Anas Sarwar will name Amazon in a speech on equality and fairness


Comments

Due to the huge number of complaints, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages.

Comments or no comments, it's still OUR job to tell YOU what to think - NOT the other way around.


 
Our Other Biased Articles

complaint

What is all this Rubbish?

Click HERE to find out.