Chancellor Horsing About with Tax Payers

By Tote De Clare, our Auld Nags & Horses Correspondent

Latest expenses scandal demonstrates a pattern of the Conservative party courting the rich horsing community.

paddockLast week a fresh Westminster expenses scandal engulfed George Osborne. The Chancellor of the Exchequer used his tax payer funded expenses to profit from a horse paddock sale.

He had included a field for a horse on his taxpayer-funded expenses but failed to mention the paddock during a Commons inquiry which found he overclaimed for the interest on the £450,000 mortgage.

In all, the MP claimed up to £100,000 for the cost of the loan before selling the house and acre of land this year, a sale that netted him a cool £1million.

Ed Balls MP, Labour's Shadow Chancellor, appeared less than happy that Mr Osborne had managed to get his job at the last election, commenting:

"Can you believe this alleged cocaine snorting Etonian muppet earns a salary of £134,565 and has a £4million trust fund?"

"He had a bloody cheek saying he was sharing in the nation's pain as he defended the attack on the millionaire politicians on the Labour frontline team."

balls rampage

"Him and his Tory cronies promised all us higher rate tax payers that they'd cut the rate back to 40%. When is he going to live up to his promises?"

"The mini-budget means a working family with children on £20,000 will lose £279 a year. They won't miss that but me and my pals are down thousands due to his failure to deliver."

"But that's what happens when you put a Tory toff with a history degree in charge of the economy!"

"What a pussy! Put me in charge and I'll deliver more cuts and taxes than even Margaret Thatcher but only for the poor and deserving."

An aide of Mr Osborne said he had to buy the paddock with the house even although it is registered separately rather than as one property.

"It was sold as one and had to be bought as one. "

"Mr Osborne just couldn't look such a taxpayer funded gift horse in the mouth!"

Shona Robson MSP, Minister of Sport for the Scotlandshire Government, voiced concerns about the behaviours of the Chancellor:

"Once again the Tories are caught using taxpayer money to buy the influence of the NAY vote!"

Nay

Ian Davidson MP, Chairchoob of the Scottish Affairs Committee on Keep England Totally Against Militant Independence Numpties Everywhere, heard we were doing yet another story on Scotlandshire and phoned us to insists we listen to his ramblings.

"Ya naw am a sham-pain so-shall-ist, naw wan owe the real wans like Colon Folks. Well ma mucker Giddy-on telt me the hoarse racin' wus the sham-pain life style. A gave his hoarse a magnum awe some French pish but it ent up oan the deck like a wee ned fae Guvan oan the Buckie!"

"I hud to gie the wee lassie that touches up the hoarses a doin fur naw tellin' me that hoarses cannae hode thur drink."

Johann Ruth Lamont-Davidson was unavailable due to raking out the local muck mire in preparation for the next First Minister's Questions!


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George Osborne secretly included a horses' paddock on his Commons expenses